Mrs Gopal stands at her front door

So still, cut from stone

Just like her suburban house

detached and all alone

​

It's her Silver anniversary 

He's coming back on the evening train

She so badly wants to revive the spark

she wants to end the pain

He's the all too typical banking type
with umbrella and briefcase to boot
Knife-edge crease on the trousers
of his immaculate Huntsman suit

He finally arrives home from work
she greets him with a smile
His reply is unprovoked,
unkind and rather vile

What are you all dressed up for
with that daily ridiculous frown?
In fact I've seen more subtle makeup
on the face of Coco the Clown

He strolls into the lounge
throws his jacket on the settee
Tumbles into his armchair and shouts
Chai wallee, get me a mug of tea

She is really quite distraught
his love is a positive sham
From the freezer in the kitchen
she takes out a leg of lamb

She wanders up to his armchair
covert and out of sight
and lifts her weighty weapon
above his head at quite a height

He’s an unsuspecting victim
like a seal before the cull
Then with one ferocious blow
she brings it down upon his skull

She realises she's killed him
she's dazed and quite bemused
Now she must contrive a story
to ensure this victory is not abused 

Maybe I was in the kitchen she thinks
when I hear a bang from the door
I go outside to see investigate
and see him lying on the floor

And so she gets herself together
lifts him from his throne
Dumps his deadweight on the porch
and then reaches for the phone

She phones village Sergeant Todd
and distressfully she does pretend
He's a gullible fellow
and always a family friend

She makes some final adjustments
checks that he did not open his post
Seasons that bloody leg of lamb
and shoves it in the oven to tenderly roast

The Sergeant speedily arrives
with his small forensic crowd
She cries with such dramatics
that would do any actress proud

The Sergeant gently consoles her
as she initiates her concocted narration
Carefully excluding those acrid aspects
that would elicit inevitable damnation

Don't fret yourself Mrs Gopal, says Todd
our coroner's report is soon at hand
We shall not countenance such a crime
against such a noble man

The weapon used was bulbous
applied with force to the head
Probably a leather kosh
or a piping made of lead

Your kind words reassure me says Gopal
but they cannot quell my grief
My husband would have welcomed you
I am firm in that belief

So why don't you dine here Sergeant
please don't depart in such great haste
I had something in the oven
please don't let it go to waste

He finally succumbs to her nice words
she gives lamb, a succulent meal
Although its arcane complexities
she is never averse to reveal

He eats a morsel of the lamb
and says Mrs Gopal, do not despair,
Once we find the murderer's implement
we shall surely find his lair

We will find that wretched weapon
we shall not delay
He takes another mouthful and repeats
the search is underway!